Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Who Am I?

Many of the folks who read my blog have a pretty good sense about what kind of guy I am.

How I Got This Way
When I was a child, I was very timid and akward. I was very skinny and startled easily. Picture a newborn foal just trying to walk. Even my dad told my mom that he thought I was gay, even though I was only about 10 when he told her his thoughts. I wasn't effeminate, but I definitely wasn't masculine or butch in any sense of the words.

I recall moving to New Jersey at the age of 10 thinking that I could completely reinvent myself because people in New Jersey wouldn't know what a fearful creature I was.

Unfortunately they recognized it immediately.

Through the age of 18, I remained very skinny and not very coordinated physically. My sole struggle through those years was to just try and fit in. Many of the kids my age were trying to be cool, or trying to excel in their crowd. Not being an outcast was a big enough goal for me.

The next five years were a major turning point in how I identified myself. I did significant soul searching and realized that there are many people that find geeky, nerdiness very appealing, and it was my lack of self-acceptance that kept me hidden. During those years, I decided it was time to come out in many ways, and embrace the very aspects of myself that I had tried to avoid throughout my life up to that point.

Having embraced my inner-Nerd, it was amazing how quickly the outward signs of nerdiness began to disappear. When I reached the age of 25, I filled out physically, and begin to exercise and lift weights.

I no longer looked so much the part of proud geek, but I continued to take advantage of the positive aspects of being a nerd. I found that being on the fringe of acceptable humanity gave me license to be more self-determined. I could in essence be anyone I wanted to be, because the folks that didn't value differences in people had already dismissed me.

Anyway, I've come to the point of knowing and liking who I am albeit through a very odd route. I attribute much of my creativity in knitting and writing to being a fringe character in life.

Mini Chock-a-Block
I have made some progress on MCaB, but not enough to show in a picture. I will be updating the blog within the next day or two and include an update picture at that time.

New Jamieson Books
I wasn't able to get to the yarn store this past weekend, so I didn't get to see the galley's for the two new books. I will report on it next over the weekend.

However, I did find out some disappointing news. It turns out that the new Jamieson book will not be including my all-over patterned pullover design. The editor has twice told me that my design would be in a Jamieson book, but neither book has included it. It's been frustrating, because I think a lot of folks would like the design, and had I known it wasn't being published, I would have let Simply Knit sell it as a kit.

Reader Questions
A couple of readers with bad taste have asked about the hideous Fair Isle coat on my last blog entry.

I did a google search on "ugly sweater" and clicked on the "Images" tab, and I thought this coat perfectly fit the bill. As for the other sweaters, they came from a sweater contest at the Maryland Sheep & Wool festival, but I wouldn't even know where to find patterns.